Sep 28, 2009

Our beloved Tigresse


Saturday evening, after multiple errands altogether (we usually do errands in 2 teams), we came back home. Our daughter found our beloved cat in the backyard, suffering a lot of pain.
When I saw her, I knew she had been poisoned like Lili, our cat that passed away last year.
I still wanted to have hope and we rushed to the vet's office. Unfortunately, the vet couldn't be back until 30 minutes and no one else was on call.
I pet her during all that time and asked her to fight for life. I talked to her and talk to her and talk to her...
When the vets finally arrived, it was too late. Actullay, we arrived home too late.
It's a lot of pain for all of us but what makes it even worse for me (what I shouldn't do, I know) is those "what if...".
What if I hadn't mopped the floor and didn't care about Tigresse going inside the house when we left. What if I made her go inside when we left as I usually do. What if I didn't mind about the comforter being in the Dry cleaner for 3 weeks so I had to go with my husband on that errands'trip instead of staying home...and being able to get her inside or finding her right away when she ate that poison.
What if we didn't stay too long at my daughter scout's meeting when we picked her up. What if the dry cleaner didn't talked to me for 5 minutes about the new dry cleaning customer card.
What if, what if, what if...
It's not one thing, it's all of them piling up that made us leaving her outside and coming back home too late. I know that what happened to her could have happened the next day or the next week. Maybe it could have happened 2 weeks ago or 2 days ago and what I chose to do and not to do at that moment saved her but still, I feel so angry...and so sad. I miss her very much.
We buried her in our land, soon-to-be new home.
My son melted down when we told her goodbye.
We will love her forever.
"You are in our hearts forever Tigresse, tu es dans nos coeurs à jamais".

3 comments:

Andromeda said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. My parents emailed the other day that our cat has a tumor on his tongue so he probably won't be there when I visit at the end of October. It's been a rough few days :-(

Marie said...

Thank you Andromeda.
I am sorry for your cat too. I hope he won't suffer too much. These days...I found an activity book for my kids called "I miss my pet" (in English). We read a few pages together yesterday and it helped them a lot. I guess it helped me to talk about our own pain together. That's not very French (expressing your feelings, talking about them, etc) but I like it !
Ask your parents to take pictures of him. Courage !

Susan in Lille said...

Marie J!! I am so sorry to read about your cat. Tell the kids hello and give them a big hug from me. Give yourself one too, I hope things are going well for you and the family.